Don’t Wait Too Long
This is Zasu speaking now, and yes, I HAVE waited far too long to post. Events ISL left me reeling for awhile, and it has taken awhile to sort everything out. I have learned, all too intimately and well, that SL is just as real as RL when it comes to relationships. I thought I knew this, and I did, but only from a positive point of view. Somehow, the negative seems MUCH more real.
As Zasu, I broke my own personal rule that I had always strictly adhered to ISL; specifically, I entered into a relationship where not everyone was fully informed. While it did not progress to cybering, it was quite intimate, and a definite betrayal of my alt’s partner. And betrayal it felt like, in a way that I have not felt across the worlds to my RL partner.
Standing outside myself and looking in, I could be fascinated by this: why did I feel such guilt over my SL partner, and not once, ever, feel guilt about my RL situation? Maybe the worlds are more separate in my psyche than I thought. This realization was actually a relief, as I have been concerned for months that the boundaries between SL and RL were becoming a bit blurred.
I can also take this lesson into RL, and know that if I ever decided to meet my SL partner IRL, having the two men I love inhabit the same world would likely result in more feelings of guilt on my part. Much as we want to, much as we talk about it, a real life relationship with my SL partner is no longer feasible. We’ve waited too long; I’ve come to my senses.
Zasu
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